Think about THAT

When the day passes what do you think about, as a psychosis patient my thoughts mainly revolve around some sort of spiritual understanding, like focusing on truly taking in peoples words how they intend to sound to the listener or trying to think about some sort of "Meaning of life" so far i'm stuck at life is meaningless but happy, with a more positive outlook, but does that mean others think about the same things? Well, everyone ponders the meaning of life every so often, usually ending up with something more positive to end off on, but why do we do this? As far as evolution go's, we never evolved to think about the deeper meaning of things, but we do for our own self interest, we want to know we mean something more than just being electric meat sacks floating in a void, we want to know the thought of every person is important and my belief is that everyone is important, because we have the ability to think for ourselves and question the way the universe is. Think about it, even early humans would think to themselves "is there more" or "what is death" seeming to question their own existence and constantly searching for answers, consciousness isn't something that's common to this universe, truly understanding oneself and seeing just how rare life in the universe is, is a extraordinary thing. thinking is something so knew yet it holds its own purpose, to know more. Another question that's to suppose is, who was the first self? The first being in life that recognized itself and do you think that being began to question the outside universe or did those creatures seem to fall under a different category of thinking, where they only think simplistic, "life forced" thoughts, like whats next to eat or who do I bang. As a psychosis patient I feel like i'm constantly looking for answers and asking questions with the answer usually never being found, but that's what I think about.